Sunday, August 22, 2010

nutty bars and love letters

today was a day full of reminiscing. not only did i buy nutty bars (which are a favorite past time and i am currently engaging in its yumminess), but it was finally time to clean and organized a closet full of boxes i moved in with, yet never had time to do anything with. many of these boxes were full of nothing less than useless "stuff", but many contained pictures, notes, and cards filled with sweet memories. for a majority of the day i sat in my closet looking through all of these precious items and my heart was full.

sometimes it is good to look back at where we came from so we can see and appreciate where we are today, as well as where we are going. one of the items i found was a journal i have written to my future husband (since this time i have changed journals as that one is purple and pink - i am thinking he won't like that much!). it is filled with love letters, hopes, dreams, and excitment. well, 4 years and 11 months ago to the day i promised my future love that i would not kiss anyone until the day i say "i do". i had made this promise because it was a time in my life when i totally gave up dating and wanted to pursue my relationship with the lord with my full heart - no distractions or interuptions. looking back my intentions were so pure and good and i knew that i had to do something extreme so i would commit to it fully. do i necessarily agree with that now? not for sure. have i stayed true to it? well, until about a year ago when i slipped up one time. even while reading that entry today, i had forgotten i had made such an extreme promise. my heart hurts knowing i did not live up to that - but my heart was also filled with excitment knowing that God has grace and mercy every day. even after almost five years, i am still patiently and anxiously waiting for my prince charming to sweep me off my feet. God is a good god and i am thankful he has worked on my heart and in my life to prepare me for this time. i'm excited to see what is to come.

3 comments:

mom said...

You know, I go to your blog almost daily and rarely find an "entry" so I was quite surprised today:) Honey, you are perfect in God's eyes and He loves you as you are and so do I - your "prince" just doesn't know you yet, but he's there! and he'll love you too!

Tatiana Delatorre said...

haha i also check on this from time to time and was excited to see something new :)

This is beautiful and filled with grace, beauty and excitement. sometimes we are harder on ourselves than God is and by not forgiving ourself it's like taking away that gift He grants every day, you know? (Something I'm constantly learning)

But as for the journal to the future husband..I love that idea. I find letters I wrote when I was much younger and laugh because of them sometimes but what a sweet gift. I may start that.

Miss you!

Kayoko Sakayanagi said...

Hi, Larrisa!

I am also one of them that check your blog time to time! :D

I remember that a journal you have written to your future husband!
and yes, it was purple and pink!:)


I remeber the day I met you first time. you and I sat in the room of matmatics.
You were such an outgoing, active, and charming person in the class!
you mostly debated with the proffersor, too!lol :D
I thought you would be a good friend of me at the time!

Being a member of cheer leader and being a roommate with you were such a nice memories!

Thank you so much for being a part of my life, you have made my life so beautiful!

I love your enthusiasm, heart-wariming, friendly, diligence, challenging and your sincere to God.

I wish we could see each other one more time!